Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The End of the Whirlwind

As of December 31st, 2013 I am officially divorced!

 It feels so good to be single. This has been such a whirlwind. My recent ex and I met in March. We "fell madly in love", "knew we were soulmates and twin flames", "didn't want to ever get married".

Three months later we married. How did we get to that point? He asked me to marry him in the park while intoxicated. Perhaps intoxicated by stupidity and "love blindness"...

And three months later, I decided we needed to split.

There were oh so many reasons.

I found that I didn't like being a stepparent afterall. I decided I really was Childfree... However, I am a little more open to parenting... it may happen someday, but most likely not.

We had completely different views on money. I believed in saving, he believed in spending.

Perhaps most importantly we had different relationship styles. I believe in togetherness but also independence. I wanted to go to school club meetings and he wanted to go along, even though he was not a student.  He wanted to do everything with me. I wanted some of my own time and own activities.

There were other reasons I left him that I'm not going to go into right now.

I am just happy that the divorce is official.  Based on interactions I had with him yesterday, I knew I 100% made the right choice and I am thankful.

All that being said, I really learned a lot from him and I am thankful for the marriage because it taught me so much about life and about love. The biggest thing I'm taking away from this is that you should really know a person before you commit to them.  Three months is not nearly enough time to know if you should spend the rest of your life with someone. I know that sometimes it works out, but more often it's a bad idea. Based on my two marriage, I would give the advice that a couple shouldn't plan to get married until they've known each other AT LEAST one year. This may not be popular advice, but its the advice I will give to people for the rest of my life.

1 comment:

  1. I have even been told that the happiest couples do things together AND have things they do alone. You need that time to be an individual. However there needs to be a happy medium. Too much individual time can cause problems too.

    I tell people a lot of the time to wait for at least a year of dating before getting married. Of course not everyone listens. And there's a few people who think we're crazy to have dated so long before getting married.