Sometimes you unfortunately lose someone you loved.
Sometimes even more unfortunately you lose someone you loved who you realized never loved you the same way in the first place.
Putting energy into a relationship that never really was (even though there appeared to be something there) and then having it all the sudden crush down sucks. Its a blow that I don't wish on anyone.
I still think things could have worked out. But unfortunately, the other person doesn't feel the same. I think this is usually how it goes. One is willing to work, but the other isn't so things fall apart. I've been here several times before, but I've always been the other person.
Will it ever be worth it to try and fall in love again? I still want to hold on hope that things will work out with him though I know they won't. But will this happen again with another man?
I am content with still being friends. I don't want to ever lose him from my life like I did before. But going from seeing a future to knowing there's not one is going to be difficult for quite awhile.
I hope Ted was right on HIMYM, "Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things."
Right at this very moment though, I want to give up. I want to say love doesn't exist and I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I want to hate all men and never give my heart to another one for as long as I live.
But I know this is only a moment. One day I will get everything I want, need, and deserve. And it will be beautiful.